Growing Up With Boys Was Her Training—Now She’s Rewriting the Rules

My Feminine Vibe

For most of my life, I didn’t realize how much masculine energy shaped me. My Feminine vibe - rewriting the rules

I grew up with four men and one woman—three brothers and a father, each strong in their own way. I was the youngest. The only girl. And I looked up to them. My Feminine vibe - rewriting the rules

I watched them move through life with purpose, logic, and independence. I didn’t realize I was absorbing their energy—not just their habits, but their way of being. No one said it out loud, but the message was clear: don’t fall behind, don’t ask for help, and definitely don’t cry unless you’ve broken a bone. It was normal. Generational, even. Without knowing it, I started to mirror their rhythm. She’s Rewriting the Rules

My mother was there too—steady, loving, quietly powerful. But the masculine energy was louder. It filled the house, the silence, the expectations. Always being the strong one. And I adapted.

I became independent. Structured. Self-sufficient. I didn’t ask for much—mostly because I didn’t know how to. I didn't even know how to express my feelings as a girl. I learnt strength meant doing it all alone.

There was something else, too—competition. My brothers were always working hard, always striving. The pressure wasn’t spoken, but it was constant. Like background music you couldn’t turn off. Less sharing, more doing. Less softness, more “just get on with it.”

But even in that independence, there was a quiet ache. I didn’t know how to reach for it.

My brothers had their boy gang—I couldn’t be part of that, thanks to gender norms and society’s silent rules.

And with the girls? I didn’t know how to be myself either. I didn’t know what made me belong.

Living with boys shaped how I moved in the world—quiet, comfortable, known. I loved dressing up, admired the softness in girl gangs, but mostly felt at ease doing none of it.

That inner conflict made finding true friends hard and confusing. I floated between spaces, never fully landing. I didn’t know what made me belong.

There was also this strange thing I felt “protection.” not with warm hugs or conversations but mostly through rules.

“Don’t go there.” “Don’t stay out too late.” “Don’t wear that.”

No one explained why. They just knew the world of men. And they wanted to keep me safe.

But I didn’t get it at that time. I was jus a kid, human—just like the everyone else. So why was I treated differently?

That’s when the rebel in me showed up. I questioned everything. Why should I follow rules that didn’t apply to my brothers? Why was being a girl treated like a limitation?

And that created a quiet conflict inside me. I wanted to be free. But I also wanted to be understood and protected.

Looking back now, I see it clearly: I was shaped by masculine energy. Not because anyone told me to be that way, but because it was everywhere. It was the air I breathed.

What I didn’t know then was that connection could be intuitive. That softness could be strong. That I didn’t have to earn belonging—I could simply receive it.

And now? This is the part of the story I’m rewriting, discovering and relearning.

I’m remembering the girl who longed for friendship. I’m meeting her again—with tenderness, not judgment. I’m learning to connect—not by doing, but by being.

This journey isn’t about rejecting the masculine. It’s about rewriting the rules. It’s about honoring both—and letting my softness lead.

If you’ve ever felt like you were trained to be tough but secretly craved softness—welcome, you beautiful soul. You’re not alone. In our group healing circles - here and private sessions - here , we laugh, cry, unlearn, and relearn what it means to be feminine on our own terms. No gold stars for doing it all alone. Just space to be real, be held, and be you. Come as you are.

Let’s rewrite the rules—and let softness lead.

Love,

Meenakshi